I had my final post op appointment today, and I got cleared to return to work Friday. I was looking forward to that but now that it’s here I have mixed feelings.
I thought I would be excited but I’m a little apprehensive that I won’t be able to hang with the chaos or I won’t be able to keep up. Maybe that I won’t be enough…
I also just recently embraced the unbusy-ness of life and embrace time getting back into a relationship with God and I’m a little sad that that time where I was not busy had ended.
I worry that I will fall into the old trap of busy-ness and stop relying on God or listening to him like I have in the past. I worry that this spiritual awakening that I experienced will be like the ones before, short lived. I hope not.
In all the chaos of life I need to continue to seek after the God who has done so much for me. I need to also choose me sometimes over trying to be all things to all people and part of choosing me is maintaining my relationship with God. Like any relationship, it takes work.
I ask for your prayers, friends, that I can keep up and I can still do a good job at work but also that I don’t lose my focus on God amongst the chaos.
God is bigger than anything I face. I just need to remember and hold to his promises.