What if…

I grew up hearing, if you are worried about something, give it to God. If you want something, ask God. God has plans for you.

I want to be perfectly honest and admit I had/have plans for me too. What if God’s plan for my life is different than my plan for my life? What if the thing I’m waiting for, clinging to the hope for, is never actually going to happen because God’s plans are different? Or what if it is because his plans are the same?

It gets a little much when you think about it too hard. Am I following God’s will? I dunno…I hope so.

If we fully trust in a loving father, God, then we trust that His plans for us are truly the best. He’s the only one who has read the end of the story. He’s got a way to get us to the best end. But is life like a choose your adventure book where there’s more than one path and I have the power to rewrite the story?

If you follow me on social media, you know that I’ve been starting and stopping a blog post repeatedly about a certain topic. Guess what? This is it. The latest attempt. The one I abandoned just the other night. It came back to my mind today as I read in 100 Days to Brave by Annie F Downs.

Sometimes a divine detour may just be His way of getting you to look up at Him and be brave enough to ask the hardest of hard questions…God, do I trust you even if I don’t understand what you’re doing?

The fact is there are many paths we can choose in life and maybe sometimes the correct choice is to simply wait, to look up and admit we don’t have the answers and wait for God.

Can I be honest? I’m a terrible waiter. I like to do things. I don’t like to sit still. But yet, sometimes we have to wait.

I have gotten frustrated lately because I feel like I’m waiting for nothing…like what I want will never really happen so I need to jump ship and find a different path. And while that’s possible, maybe I need to hang on. To stop being impulsive and start trusting the path. To say to God, I have no idea what’s going on, but You do and that’s enough.

If He’s truly called me to wait it out, He’ll give me the ability and the strength to persevere through this really rough patch. If he releases me to move on, I’ll be grateful but if not, I will have to rely on Him to get though it all.

I still have dreams for my future, even if they aren’t fully formed or even that exciting. What I know to be true is dreams and your life are important to God. I think that’s sometimes hard to remember, at least for me.

I had dreams for what my life would look like. To be perfectly honest, they haven’t really come to fruition, and because I’m kind of an all or nothing person, I’d given up on a lot of dreams. I sometimes think if the big ones aren’t going to happen, why hope for any of the dreams.

However I don’t want to miss out on the best for my life just because I can’t trust in a path I can’t see. What if my future doesn’t look like I want it to look like? (I can already tell you that it won’t in some ways). It’s in that place where I have to look to God and say, I don’t understand, but I trust You. Keep leading me down your path, and keep me from running off on my own. Your ways are best.

I guess in all of this maybe I keep starting this post looking for answers and there aren’t any…at least not yet. Faith is hard. People have let me down, so it’s hard to believe that God will not. But I know in my heart of hearts that He’s got my best interest at heart and whatever the outcome, whatever the answer, I just need to keep trusting, keep hoping and keep waiting, until He leads me down a different path. But waiting, y’all. I can’t, but He can.