This will not be a long post full of inspiration, but I share my struggles as well as my victories so that you know I am so very much human.
I have hope every year to escape October without being touched my it. I thought I was gonna get away this year. But today it popped up like one of those furious storms, hard and fast and out of nowhere. I miss my dad. And I hate it.
People talk about the things their dads help them do, and it makes me sad that mine can’t do that. And it’s not just then, it’s all the things. I miss him and wish I knew him as a person more than a 5 year old could. I know we’ll survive October; we always do. I just hate that it hurts so much.
I put on a sweatshirt this morning because it was cold. Ironically it says “Your brokenness is redeemed here – Jesus” (it’s from soulscripts). I know God knows my broken heart. And I know He loves my broken heart. He sent his son to redeem my broken heart.
And as I cry through writing this post, just know that I think it’s ok to be a little bit broken sometimes. It’s ok to admit it. We’re all a little broken. Life is hard. But tonight, I will sleep knowing that God has his arms around me still. I may just need to brace for a hard week, but I will come out ok on the other side as long as I continue to trust my broken heart to Him. And I rest knowing that God is still kind to me, even when circumstances don’t look like it.