life, My Faith

Fighting for joy

I heard the phrase “fight for joy” recently and it struck me how ironic and yet how true the phrase is. Sometimes it’s a literal fight, a struggle, a war to just find joy.

I feel like that phrase sums up where I’m at right now. In a season supposed to be filled with joy and a time where things were going well, I find joy hard to grab ahold of sometimes. Why you may ask? The truth is I don’t know. If I knew I might be able to grab it more quickly.

But for now it’s a conscious effort, a work to grab for and be reminded of the blessings, a reminder of the good that is ever present, even in the midst of struggle.

It’s easy when lots of difficulties present themselves in a row to just get bogged down by the unjoyful parts of life. It’s easy to feel very much alone in a hard world, but that’s the place we have to grasp hard to the joy that is maybe a little buried in our souls. Because even here God can meet us, and will meet us. He reaches down to remind us that He sees us, knows us, and loves us even still.

Yesterday He reminded me in an old hymn. I don’t go to a traditional church so when a hymn comes up it’s rare, but as we sang those old words, I found those words speaking to my heart yet again.

Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee.

My earthly heart wants to grab onto the less than lovely parts of life; it tends to fixate on the struggles. But it’s here that his goodness needs to be the thing that reminds me of who He is and who I am in Him. Oh this wandering heart.

Because I am too prone to wander. And even when I feel alone, He is always there.

These old hymns, when we really listen to the words have amazing truths and meanings. Even as I type these words, this song has cycled back around in the hymns I’m listening to today and I find my heart still stirred by these words.

And while my heart may always be prone to wander, the best I can do is make a conscious effort to chase joy, to fight for joy, to be reminded of all that God has done for me. Sometimes I have to let go of the things I cannot control, release things or people that no longer can be held onto, and look toward the next great thing.

Some seasons are harder than others. Season of change are always a challenge. And as the domino train falls and one change begets another, all I can do is remember that God has a plan for my life and even in the changes, in the hard, He’s still here. He’ll still fight for me; I need only be still. There’s something in that.

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