I heard the phrase "fight for joy" recently and it struck me how ironic and yet how true the phrase is. Sometimes it's a literal fight, a struggle, a war to just find joy. I feel like that phrase sums up where I'm at right now. In a season supposed to be filled with joy… Continue reading Fighting for joy
It's 4:35am or so says the clock on the top of this screen. I've been trying to go to sleep for a solid 3 hours at least. I've tried all the things. AC is on polar ice caps. Noise machine on rain storm (even though there's a natural rain storm outside). Weighted blanket. I can't… Continue reading A troubled heart
I'm in a weird place right now. No, not physically. Physically I'm in my bed, exhausted and ready to sleep if only this pesky brain would shut down. I'm in a weird place in life. If you've been around, you know I have a control thing. And I like to know what's going to happen,… Continue reading Solemnly Seeking Discernment
Yesterday I posted a quote that was very much how I felt: "God, I don't know if you're still good anymore, but I know that I still want you. I don't want to live without you." I didn't completely trust in the goodness of God because when my circumstances are hard, when it looks like… Continue reading Still good
The story I'm gonna tell might scare some folk. I'm aware. (ie...Mom...I'm fine. You don't need to pack.). But stick it out to the end; it'll be worth it. Last night I found the bottom of the pit. I told you this week had been bad. I was not feeling well, I was overwhelmed, I've… Continue reading The time I almost gave up
To say this has been a rough week is an understatement. I have been frustrated with somethings, annoyed with others, and physically sick and tired on top of it all. I'm just flat worn out in all the ways. God and I have had a lot of conversation this week. If you don't hold conversations… Continue reading Is it even raining?
Woah. Calm down. I was not about to get into some theological science debate when I made that title, but did it get your attention? What I mean to say is I believe in my evolution as a person, and yours too. I think if we are doing life right we are constantly analyzing and… Continue reading I believe in evolution