life, My Faith

Label me

I heard this quote the other day and it really resonated with me.

I’ve been convicted lately that I hear a lot of labels in my head. Most of them come from the negative committee that lives there. Some of them probably come from Satan when he’s trying to disable me. I know you hear them too.

  • You’re not good enough.
  • You’re not smart enough.
  • You’re not creative enough.
  • Someone does this better than you.

Oh and the big one.

  • You’re not worthy of love. You’re not lovable.

Yikes. Friends, those are things I hear all the time. I have trouble accepting compliments from others because I don’t believe those things are actually true. I have trouble accepting love from others because I wonder if it’s coerced, if they feel obligated to hug me or tell me they love me because how can they possibly love me?

Here’s a big one that my people are helping me with. I don’t ask for prayer for myself without first apologizing for asking for prayer for myself. I’ve got no trouble asking them to pray for other people, but I feel like I’m inconveniencing them to ask for prayer for myself. That I’m not sure I deserve those prayers.

What is that? It’s the lies that I’ve believed for so long they’ve become like truths. But it’s time to call them the lies that they are.

If the only person who can label the creation is the creator, then the only person who can say who I am is God himself and He says I’m all the things. He says I’m worthy of love. He says I’m capable. He says He will fight for me. And He says so much more.

So my challenge for myself (and for you) is to lean into what God says about you. It’s gonna take a lot to get that 41 year old negative committee voted out of office but I’m gonna try. Are they still going to chime in? Absolutely, but I want to be able to call it what it is…a lie. I want to be able to cling to who God says I am. I want to replace those words with truth.

How do I do that? Well first I get in the Word, the Bible, and find out what God says about me. But it doesn’t end there.

I have a hefty charge for my people who love me. I’m fixing to call them into battle with me. And I’m going into battle with them. We’re going to speak those words of truth into each other. We’re going to lean into God and ask Him to reveal to us what words He wants to give to each other. And we’re going to speak truth into each other. And we’re going to keep doing it and keep doing it and never stop.

I don’t know about my people, but I know God has called me into a battle that I don’t presently feel equipped to fight. I feel that He’s calling me to something that someone else would be better suited for. And I’m scared. But you know what else? I’m excited too. And somehow the excitement is winning out. Because God knows who He created me to be. God knows who I am at the end of the story. God knows how this all turns out.

My friend posed some questions to me today. What if the thing changes your life? What if it changes what you do? I said, “I know. I know. And it’s big and scary and I don’t know but I feel that possibility too.”

I need warriors behind me, encouraging me and preparing me to do the next right thing and the next until the big things are accomplished. I don’t know where this journey ends, but God does. I think of the quote that says: “what if I fall? Oh my dear, what if you fly?”

What if?

The what if’s are bigger than the fear right now. I don’t know where we’re going. I said the other day on social media that I’m white knuckled in anticipation and that’s still true.

And what I know for sure is I have to stop fighting battles alone. Is it working for me? Nope. I think Saturday night illustrates that well because I think I might be telling a different story if my people hadn’t gone into battle for me, if they hadn’t interceded for mercy from God for me when I couldn’t do it myself. And my people are poised for battle. They want to be called in. And I need them for this mission. I need their skills and talents. I need their encouragement. Most of all I need their prayers. Because I feel it in my bones you’re about to move. Oh, let me be a part of it.

Let me not stand in the way by thinking about it too much. Let me grip the wheel but let Him navigate. Let’s do the next right thing and then the next until we complete the task set before us. Let’s do the thing.

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