Today is a better day, mentally. I woke up reminded that a year ago I bought my house and all the grateful feelings for the way that God provided for me in the silly, inconsequential things as well as the important things. This day will always be a day of gratitude because we survive and we thrive, no matter what happens to us. God can take what Satan meant for evil and use it for His glory.
But today my body is physically throwing up the white flag. I mean to be fair, it’s been waving it for over a week. But usually I push harder, make it keep going, make it go harder.
If you want to know if that actually works, the answer is a resounding not really.
As I get older and understand how I’m put together a little more, I have become acutely aware that my body physically has a heck of a stress response. Growing up I was tested for mono a lot. Every time I got tired I got sick. Now, as I am paying better attention to my mental, emotional and physical health, I think a lot of that is stress. And none of it is fun.
Today, thankfully, was my day off because I’m not gonna sit here and pretend if I was supposed to be somewhere I wouldn’t have gone there. But today I have taken up residence on my couch. I slept the majority of the day, except for the brief time I made chicken noodle soup. When I was awake, I didn’t really leave the couch. I still don’t feel awesome, but this too shall pass.
I think there’s a reason Jesus said to come to Him when we are weary and burdened. He knows how our souls fret and worry. He knows that stress makes my whole body decide to be unhappy.
I like how that passage continues:
Take up my yoke and learn from me because I am lowly and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.
He’s not saying to leave your burdens anywhere. He’s saying to yoke them, let Him help you with the load. And find rest for your soul.
Oh that my soul needs rest as much as my body does. Part of honoring my soul and my mind is honoring my body when it needs to tap out. I think it’s time for me to realize that self care is sometimes a form of worship because He doesn’t want us to go until we can’t anymore. He wants us to find rest. And that’s hard for someone like me. But I’m learning.
So today we rest. Tomorrow we work and we do what we can to continue to still this ol body’s stress response, but we soldier on. And let God help us carry on.